We Are Family

Today is Adoption Day.  I know you want photos, and I do, too, but we'll all have to settle for text.  We were picked up by our guide at 9 a.m. and driven back to the same government building where we met Maryn yesterday.  A lot of paperwork in Chinese to sign, a few questions to answer, a family photo, waiting, and we were done.  Limited fanfare.  It might be easier to capture some of the joy of the event on film if the child is a baby, but when she's a new 8 year old who looks frightened by the fact she's back in the same building where her world suddenly changed the day before with a few of the people who changed it, it's not.  That and the fact that the parents don't have any idea what's going to happen next either makes for a business-like event. Next year there will be cake!

 

After yesterday's meeting, our guide brought us back up to the room, and helped us settle in a bit.  After a bath she dressed in the gray skort and sequined T-shirt given to her by the neighbors two doors down.  Not only is the outfit cute, but the skort has a drawstring waist and that's critical right now.  It's all about cinching.  She needs to add a bit of meat to her bones, and I know those of you who know us are wondering how she's going to do that at our house!  We'll do whatever it takes.  After our guide left, she sat on the bed, and I watched her wipe her eyes a few times.  I asked her, "Ni nan guo ma?" (Are you sad?)  She didn't answer with words, and it didn't matter because tears and sobbing followed.  We felt sadness for her, yet we were glad to have tears.  She let us rub her back and tell her, ku ba (it's okay to cry).  We don't do a lot of communicating in Chinese, but I know it was comforting to her that it was okay to be sad and okay to cry, so thank you to our Chinese friends/teachers who taught us this.  It made all the difference in the world.  She fell asleep and took a long nap.  The rest of the day, she was wide-eyed.  We all went to bed at 9 p.m. keeping her usual schedule, and we were ready for it.

 

Today she enjoyed the flashlight we gave her, and we were given many smiles, especially when baba played a modified version of flashlight tag with her.  We were picked up at 9 a.m. for the official paper signing.  Undoubtedly she was comforted to hear Chinese again from our guide, and she stuck close to her when after the signing we went to buy a few toys before going back to the hotel.  She didn't want mama's hand just like we knew it would be.  Two steps forward, one and a half back.  We'll get there.  We had lunch in the hotel - always buffet style - and it's helping that she can point to what she wants.  Not going to see a smorgasboard of those choices at home, for sure, but we'll see what we can do.  We do know this about her, she is a noodle eater not a rice eater like we expected so there's an adjustment.  Our favorite of chicken, black beans and rice is about to make a significant change.

 

I started this during naptime and now we are late for bedtime so I'll finish.  More tomorrow I hope.